sick.

my tummy hurts.
:( i donno why.
*sigh*
oh well.
what can ya do?
i feel like i'm gonna puke. and that might be a good or nice thing to do. can't really tell yet. letcha know when i do.
i miss my kiel. and he's so far away. two weeks. two weeks.
*sigh*
*puke*
not. i wish.
maybe hten i'd feel better.

like, seriously, though. What is wrong with me? i thought i had figured this feeling out. and yet it' back. i thought it was done and gone but perhaps not. i guess the people i thought needed/loved me don't. and those i never wouda guessed have been there for me in more ways than imaginable.
i owe you all so much.

more ramblings.

well, must admit i've got nothing worthwhile to update on. life is as shitty as ever.

well, not really. i mean, life was going really well there for a while. i just got sick and tired of being down all the time and now i'm like... gah. i guess trying to hide it doesn't really help. stuff with my mom isn't bad anymore but stuff with friends is. i cut again last night which was really stupid but i guess in some ways i feel like no one likes me best. like, i'm not top in anyone's book and like that's the stupidest most irrational thought ever and i know that. like, just because your friends have stuff going on doesn't mean they don't like you best. i just need to take a damn chill pill and calm the fuck down.
but, it's hard sometimes, i guess. i don't know what's wrong with me. i wish it was something i could easily fix. but, like it's not the cutting that is the problem, you know? like, i'll just come up with something else if i don't cut. i need to think about WHY i'm cutting. and deal with that.
sounds SO EASY when put that way.
well, it's not.
for what feels like the first time - i really have no idea what's wrong with me. like, usually i have this feeling of knowing what's wrong - i just don't want to admit it to myself.... but this time i'm really lost. and it's like there's not a whole lot i can do about it. that was stupid to type. of course there is. i'm just not deleting it because.....i don't know. but, of course there is something i can do. people get over this kind of thing all the time.
sigh.
ah well.
much love.

Sitting and Thinking

Here I sit.

Next to my Hilary.

Chillin in Intro to Graphic Design. The easiest and boringest class known to mankind.
Ah, well.
C'est la vie, je suppose.
LOVE YOU ALL.

And the nostalgia sets in

I miss these days.

I miss the days when life was more about laughing and less about cutting.

When life was less stressful and people knew how to deal with shit.

When people did what they said they were going to do and meant what they said.

When you could rely on anyone.  And when people said they were going to change or do things differently - you could legitimately believe them.

Even though days were never like that - it was our innocent mindset that made us believe they were.

And that ignorance was bliss.

If we just close our eyes and try really hard - can life go back to that way?

How I wish with all my heart and soul it could.  How I wish with all my body that I could bring back those friendships. Build anew those bridges I've burned - created instead of destroyed.

Regrets...

Oh Happy Days!

Sorry for the last, slightly emo post.

I'm glad to say that the dramatic things that were previously taking part in my life are quickly resolving themselves and nothing could make me happier!

I also feel that I need to anounce this to the general public . . . I'M GOING TO PROM! Yay shopping for new dresses! So, I'm kinda excited...but I also don't want to be a stuck up bitch about it. I'm just super excited. You guys know that I like this sorta stuff! Also, I'm going with a guy who I like a lot...right now as a friend!

As for the Harry Potter theories. I recommend to anyone interested that Beccy left some pretty interesting comments on my HP post down there that are worth a looksie! However, I must say that I like the idea of "Volderoooney" (I laughed OUT LOUD when I read that!) would be Lucius in Gringotts. It makes me laugh. Ooo kinky things could happen in those vaults!
"Yes, even chromosomes do kinky things"
"HAH!"
oh dear. yay for embarrassing moments?
"YEAH! like you think they're like your twin soul or something?"
"...oh, well"
"OMG I'M SO EMBARASSED"
"Oh, no it's okay! At least you don't think you're related to people!"
"Actually I used to think that my neighbor across the street was my dead grandfather in disguise."

THANK GAWD FOR HILARY

Thanks for commenting Hilsies, I love you lots.

It's okay Boo, because I know that you are out of town and thus have not been able to comment on previous postings otherwise I am SURE that you would have! Teehee!

I was just thinking about how much I treasure my friends. I mean, honestly, without them I am nothing. And without them, I do not laugh. Without them, I do not smile. Without them, life isn't fun. I love my friends, yes I do. They're for me AND NOT FOR YOU.

Wow, I have NO CLUE where that came from!

However, my life is not interesting and there is no real point to this posting ... so i'll just give you these to think on...

Keeping Up With Tradition!

Hello All!

For those who haven't seen my previous post (scroll down) I heavily encourage reading through it because it talks about a lot of my Harry Potter Cover Theories. Please leave comments! I'd love to hear all your theories!

So, I'm updating again just because I enjoy doing it and because I want to start updating again. I'm in Ohio with the Fam! It's been a lotta fun, but the family can be slightly tiring. I love them all DEARLY but you know. Heh. But, I'm soooo glad to be here. It rocks. However, it is snowing here which means its gonna be BAAAAAAD back in Holland. So, I'm SERIOUSLY itching to go and see Blades of Glory, but I said I'd wait for Beccy so that we can go together! Anyone else is welcome, too! Beccy, if you see it without me I swear to GAWD and BUDDAH and ALAH and EVERYONE ELSE that I will FLAY YOU ALIVE. And then I'd go cry.

I saw meet the Robinson's which was REALLY suprisingly CUUUUTE! I'd really enjoyed it!

I love and miss you all SO MUCH!
XOXO
Your favorite RedHead!
mags

SORRY!

EEEK!
i'm so sorry that I haven't been able to post in awhile. I've been slowly getting back into the groove of things, but I miss you all SO DEARLY!

Not too much has been happening with me.... I've almost forgotten what to write about! The new HP covers are so exciting! I'll share the theories that we've discussed (most of you know about them already but for those who are... out of the loop...) .......

Obviously the UK adult is the locket. This also makes me think DUH! That Regulus could be a "deathly hallow" I MEAN HELLO! Anywho it also makes me think that the whole locket business is going to play a much bigger role than I had previously thought.

Next, the US version is quite interesting. Of course, looking at this always makes one appreciate the amazing-ness of Mary GrandPre's artistic ability it tells us a lot. Firstly, Harry's wearing a sort of neaklace, and I don't think he's gone homo on us personally. Locket? Eh, maybe but I think he'd wanna be more careful with it. Though, Dumbles did wear that ring, but that coulda been to scare Slughorn... sheesh.
Also the curtain could be the veil...though, I dunno.... and the dias and stuff....eh. I just have a rough time believing it... Harry and Voldy are both reaching for something and the people surrounding them could be Death Eaters or the "deathly hallows."

I purposely saved the UK Kids for last because it is the most interesting. I'd like to draw your attention to the color behind the portal that they seem to be falling into... now go recheck the colors Mary GrandPre chose for the US version...and the stone archways?! However, that would mean that they were falling out of like a fucking airplane or something. OR A PORT KEY! Sorry, that just came to me. However, the gold and rubies led John Hamilton (LOL BECCY!) to believe that there is a Horcrux in Gringotts. I, however, am hesitant... but, it is the safest place to leave something..."'cept perhaps Hogwarts." ;) But, I also want you to notice the elf-like thing on Harry's back and the sword he is holding. Goblin? Or houself? Personally, I'm going houself but who is it? Kreacher? Dobby? Winky? Not the ladder. Also, the sword of Gryffindor is described as being "ruby-encrusted" so I don't really know... sounds good, tho doesn't it? It would tie in with Godric's Hollow. WAIT. Hollow/Hallow. Dang.

I think that's most that we came up with.... I prolly forgot some stuff. Beccy, remind me if I have. You have much more brain power than little I. (i'll get crap for that later)

anywhoo dearies I've missed you all SOOOO much!
and i'm reading "gossip girl" right now.
It's one of those books that should be illegal because I could probably read it in like 3 sittings. It's trashy, easy to ready, completely pointless. BUT LOADS OF FUN!
Teehee
love you all!